27-28

     

Dear diary,

I have thus far spent my long weekend eating, eating, racing through a couple of shows on Netflix, sleeping, talking to LOML, feeling bad about eating and not exercising, not exercising, thinking about going outside but not doing that at all, and watching some more TV shows.

It is beautiful outside and incredibly sunny. I just saw a pigeon fly into the pine tree outside my window. I wish I was a bird but only because I'm not thinking straight. I've been told watching too much TV can mess with your brain chemicals so I think that's what's happening. Anyway, I will go out today. I will get some exercise in, I will listen to some music or meditate or what not. I will read a book. I will eat some ice cream if I feel like it and not hate my body for it. I will seize the day.

*    *    *

While I didn't eat any ice cream or read a book, I did listen to podcasts and go for a long walk — much longer than Google Fit calculated. I also went all out this morning and got a bunch of fruit and salad. To top it off, I decided today was going to be daal chaawal for lunch day, and tomorrow as well. I cooked in advance for a few days. I think I cooked something proper after a long time and it was therapeutic. I loved that I had the kitchen all to myself. I loved that the kitchen is not a makeshift office for the landlady anymore. I thought it was illegal for her to forbid me to cook during lunch hours because she worked then but glad that she realised it was twisted and came around.

I think I'll go for another little walk today, this time to purchase some sunblock. Maybe I'll test my new sunglasses while I'm at it. I want to make as much use of this free time as possible, even if I'm not doing anything special. When the team meets up tomorrow, I can imagine my colleagues exchanging stories about how they went on a weekend getaway or did something adventurous. But I just relaxed. And I have no FOMO. I finished watching Inventing Anna, seething at the humanization of a fraudster. What a strange world we live in. If you read this entry backwards, it's not going to sound much different.

- T.