A wonderful life

If I could tell you what a whirlwind the past month has been and that it's not over yet, you would not believe it. Did I sign up for it? Absolutely. Would I like to do it again? Never. But it's Eid this week and we're trying to stay positive and look at the brighter side of things. There's just so much to do, at work and at home - so many people left to connect with - and I cannot put myself together to do it nicely.

Anyway, we've managed to make time to celebrate all three days of Eid somehow, doing something different and new everyday. It's good to know that after years of not being anything special, Eid can once more be a day to look forward to, to celebrate together with someone else. But, again, it's the last day and tomorrow, I have to get back to work again — no excuses this time. This feeling of not being smart enough returning, not really gone away the past weeks.

I've been thinking thinking thinking so much about the meaning of life, about how to make it sustainable for myself and, subsequently, for the people around me. But I haven't really come across an answer. The hustle isn't over yet and doesn't seem to be nearing an end either. But while we're going through it, we're trying to make the most of it. What a wonderful life it would be to not chase after capitalistic structures, and to live within and for nature.

This week I have a lot to do. Work is always on my mind, even as I sleep, even as I have a conversation with my spouse — it never goes away. I'm glad for it but it would be lovely to have another life, one where work was only fun and not overbearing and not a measure of your talent or success. I would like work to fade, become a bit distant, enjoy my naps and time in the kitchen, wake up a little later.