V

K. says you don’t have to lay stress on the alphabet.
It just is.

But I stress everything.

When I write, I dig my pen into the paper,
Leave little abrasions at the back,
When I speak, I chew my words and
Spit them out.
When I leave for the station, I arrive twenty minutes early
Because you never know.
To your memories, I (think I) hold on too tight
And don’t let go.

I’m just scared of being who I am
And of not being seen or accepted as myself.

I’m afraid of coming off as someone I’m not.

I don’t want my colours to be transmuted
And for you to see my reflection instead.

I’m sick of lurking in the shadows–
I want to come out and play with everyone else
Sans fear of being judged.
I want to just be
Like the alphabet
Even though I might sound different in every language.

I’m scared of what happens when the light ends.

I want to be seen and accepted as who I am.

- 11.04.2016