End of the "year" remark.
While typing in the title of this post, I quickly punched in the alphabets for "year" instead of "month" because, truly, January has been a very long month for me. A quick overview of all that happened this month:
- I had concluding meetings with my mentees
- I had a concluding meeting with my boss
- Planned to meet and spend the holidays with my mother
- Submitted so many assignments that I lost count
- More or less prepared for the upcoming exams
- Had pre-exam breakdowns and got over them
- Exchanged and received late Christmas presents
- Dealt with the news that I won't be seeing my mother
- Got over some flaky friends but also got over myself
- Read an entire book (well, it was < 200 pages)
- Attended my book club meeting
- Binge-watched entire TV shows (multiple seasons of multiple shows!)
- Yet made the time for those who mean the world to me
- Grew out of my pixie cut, which is on its way to resemble a bob
So now that just a day remains to the month, I still feel like it'll take its time seeing itself out... and nobody could be gladder than I am for that! God knows I need time to slow down and things to take their due course in due time and not beforehand.
What I learnt out of everything is that self-care is not a one-time visit to the spa but is an everyday ritual. It is in the taking out of the trash, the answering of how-are-yous with "I am coping", cutting out of caffeine and getting enough sleep, and letting roommates know their loud music is bothering you. It is in trying to teach your conventional parents unconventional ways of living—even if to very little avail.
Self-care is putting yourself first in the face of what you may recognise as your calling. Because how can you expect yourself to be good at something if you don't feel good yourself? I want to push myself to succeed—but with kindness and care.
I don't want to go out like a light or with a bang, I realised. I want to just keep walking, and take my time while I'm at it.
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