All-weather friend

Somewhere in the recesses of my brain is a memory. I am in somebody's drawing room, it's the evening, and those bright orange lightbulbs are making everything seem warmer than they are. My eldest aunt is visiting and so is my youngest. My younger uncle is there. And my father. And I. My father seems to be adding to the narration of an event that happened a good few decades ago. He is animated in his descriptions. I find myself besides myself screaming-laughing. We high-five each other. I squeeze his arm playfully. We are tight.

If there has been anything missing in my life, there was always love. And for that reason, I will always forgive and forget.

*    *    *

I was expecting her in the fall and yet, filled her tiny closet with summer dresses. She came to us in late-summer and still hasn't gotten the chance to try on those breezy, flowery frocks and bloomers. Now I find myself scrambling to assemble a more weather-appropriate wardrobe, instagram-worthy looks be darned. And what about her? Well, she couldn't care less––she is fine either way. Babies are only expensive if you make them out to be.

*    *    *

It has been a while since I found myself reaching out for the prayer mat. Things seemed okay, and then not, and then okay again. The hot-and-coldness of a situation has a saturation point and I felt that this particular one, which we are not going to talk about, had come to its. I reached out for my prayer mat. I was reminded of a time when it was all I had, and felt like it is all there should ever be. I'm not a religious person by any means but I do believe there is a higher being who is pulling the strings on things in and outside our lives that are inexplicable––and it brings me immense peace to reach out to this being. I think now was the right time.

*    *    *

I am completely and absolutely in love with her and I feel like it'll be years before she finds out. My love manifests itself in many ways that my mother's did––in the regularity of mealtimes, the patience, the dependency when all else fails, and the lullabies. I am hoping there is going to be more and that we will be each other's all-weather friends.