The kids are alright

The kids are doing most things for the optics and I think they have the right idea. We aren't going to get out of this planet alive and, while it may not seem real, there isn't much time left. Recently, my teenage BIL was asked why he's the way he is — incredibly laidback and in a world of his own — and his answer was literally this: climate change is real and the world's going to end so why not live life to the fullest? It's been stuck in my head. I'm sure he didn't mean it in a wise way but I keep thinking about it as I push myself out of my comfort zone these weeks. Who knows what the future is going to bring? Better make use of the now and create some good memories too.

My phone is alright, by the way. I did a test run in the morning and although it felt a little slow, it was fine. Thank goodness. I know I had the option to get a new one but I'm not one for splurging. You can confidently say frugality is my middle name, so much so that I didn't hire anyone to do my hair and makeup on my wedding. I did the makeup myself and my mother (who never made braids for me my entire life) did my hair. It was the best experience even if my makeup melted after a few hours. I had to wash it anyway. 

I really loved my wedding though, I realise I haven't talked about it enough. It happened almost exactly like I dreamed it would: with extremely close family around, amazing traditional Hyderabadi food, very simple clothes, and in my parents' home — after which we distributed a lot of great food to those who couldn't have it otherwise. I can't thank god enough. I've witnessed everyone around and beyond me splurge on these events and the waste (of food and money) broke my heart. But it didn't happen during my turn. It was as simple as they're supposed to be and just as happy too.

You spend so much of your youth wondering what the future is going to look like for you and when the future does come, you can only look back and smile. There really is no way to predict how life is going to turn out. As mere human beings, we can only try our best, and keep trying. At least that's what I do. And tawakkul. I've had so many of what one would call "failures" in the past years but I look at all of them now as great learning opportunities that came my way. On the outside, I seem like I've got it all going but you'd be amazed at everything I had/have to trudge through. I deeply believe in patience and gratitude and the power it holds on your life, not just its outlook.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone's reading this but mostly, I'm happy writing to myself. I'd like to do this more frequently this year, in addition to journaling, which I'm trying out too because I've heard so much about it. Anyway, until next time.