Homeward bound x 2

    

I'm going home after a year and half of working hard and struggling harder for three whole semesters. Today, my flatmate asked me if I ever experience reverse culture shock. "Definitely," I said to her, as my mind immediately conjured the realities of not being able to step outside without being accompanied by a male family member or without being covered properly. I started to think of my many (relatively recently acquired) mannerisms that would set in motion a chain of log kya kaheinge remarks.

I was reminded of the last time I went back home. I had just arrived at the airport and was at the conveyor belt to pick my luggage up when a random male found it to be his duty to not only ask but demand that I let him handle my bag. Now I, like any other functional human being living alone, have been taking good care of myself by myself so his assumption that I'm too dainty to carry my own stuff annoyed me to no end. Of course, I paid him no heed and did my job with my own hands (as anyone who can should), but it later made me think of how this is possibly just an annoying cultural trait.

I digress.

I said goodbye to my long-distance partner for an indefinite period of time yesterday. We don't certainly know when we'll be seeing each other again but we hope it won't be too far from now. It made me think of how I've been in a long-distance relationship with my parents ever since I moved out — and how difficult that must be for them. It also made me admire their courage and hope to be more like them.

A few days ago, my father told me how they'll actually be able to enjoy this coming Eid because they'll have me there in real-time — as a whole, physical entity. He sounded really happy about not having to share food pictures via online messages but really just sitting and eating with me.

It's a really strange thing, growing up, and seeing all your relationships evolve through the course of time. Coming from a tightly-knit family, I never thought I'd be living the life I am now, but here we are. My parents are ageing away from me, and "home" is a dynamic concept. Though I say I'm going home after a long period of time, I have actually been home all this time.